Confessions Of A Missionary

I don't know that I can fail as a missionary, but I can be a poor one. All of us excel in some ways and are poor in others when it comes to living as Jesus in this world.

And I wish I was better. I wish I was bolder. I wish I was purer. I wish I was more effective. I wish I lived far away from all I know in this life. And then I wish I could live where I live, all the days of my life. I wish I was more radical. I wish I was like the Apostle Paul. I wish this - Veni, Vidi, Vici - could be the song of my life. I wish I thought more thoughts of God. I wish there was more uniting among the people of God for the expansion of the kingdom of God.

I wish I did not have to confess my weakness as a missionary. For one who talks a big talk about culture, evangelism, mission, and missionary efforts, I sure do live little of it. I know the attacks will come from my accusers. The "aha's" will come. Let them. What more can I say? I hold my hand over my mouth.

I stand before God with my mouth shut. I have no words of defense. I can only mirror the words of King David, "But you, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the LORD,and he answered me from his holy hill."

The Lord, my glory, the lifter of my head will answer and provide me with sustenance. He will help. He will empower my hands for this spiritual war. If he does not stand up and help, who do I have? I have no one besides him. The power that raised my Lord from the dead is at work in this weak body of mine. Come O Lord and save. Show more grace. I am your vessel. Carpe Diem.