How many friends do you have? Stop! and think about it for a brief moment. Much is made of friends and more is made of popularity and most is made of quantity over quality.
For me, I have somewhere around 150 phone numbers in my cell and over 200 friends on Facebook [recently I deleted around 50 whom I never talk too and plan on doing that again soon, maybe today]. And I know many more people that I would consider my friends that are not in my cell log or who are on Facebook.
The Bible talks about friendships and more importantly it talks about the church as a family of friendships with a common purpose - glorifying God and the expansion of his kingdom. Let's consider a few:
Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another."
Ephesians 4:15 "Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ..."
Philippians 2:2 "...complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind."
Philippians 4:1 "Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved."
These four sections of Scripture speak volumes about our relationships, but I would like to emphasize a few things and then share some decisions this has led me too in order to seek living out a life honoring to God.
1] A true friend will build up another friend and help keep him walking straight.
2] A true friend will speak truthful love to see a particular end in he and his friend's life - becoming like Jesus.
3] A true friend unites in love. Instead of sowing discord among brothers, he seeks to unify and meet people on common ground; once again for the sake of glorifying God and building his kingdom.
4] A true friend is passionate and compassionate for the well-being of his friend. Our well-being is only wrapped up in being in a close relationship with Father God so there is great passion to see that end.
So what's this look like in my life? What changes have been taking place to see this end?
In order to be sharpened, I need to be in community; in particular, the local church. Therefore, I have consciously committed myself recently to the local church in ways that I have not since Jesus first saved me. I need to take heed how I am sharpened and I cannot think of a better place than the local church. Much is made of the church these days, but most are spread so thin in relationships that they hardly have time to reach any depth in any one relationship. So their sharpening is dull at best. There is great blessing in being sharpened by the community of Christ. We need a radical overhaul in our relationships with others where we focus on less, not more. Getting back to my first question, how many friends do you have? Now considering the above passages, how many of those friends are helping you grow closer to Jesus? How many are giving you a passion for God and his bride? How many of them are helping expand the kingdom of God alongside you? I have yet to meet any one person who can successfully juggle dozens of relationships and yet most people I know are trying recklessly to maintain hundreds of relationships. I have tried to limit my contact with the hundreds I was trying to keep up with. Instead of spending all my time "just catching up," I have been hanging with less people and adding depth to those relationships and the fruit has been bountiful.
Lastly, age is irrelevant for sharpening. Much is made of specific ages. I think the prime age lately has been between 35-50 years old. It's as if that is the magical age and if everyone does not have someone that age in their life then they are on a road to ruin and making unwise decisions. If anyone has the chapter and verse for that please let me know asap so I can change. If I remember correctly, the Bible commands older men to disciple the younger; not younger going out to seek older men to disciple them. Truth be told, I would rather see people diving with depth into relationships with people in their church than for us to be going out seeking someone of a magical age to keep us in check. The best ones to keep us in check are the ones in our lives and the ones who we are living life with. So dive in with both feet into those relationships in your church to sharpen you, to love, to speak the truth, and to have passion for those very people.
Remember, with relationships in the church, quantity is not as important as quality.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Carl,
I was just getting ready to write on this very subject. How strange?
I have a couple thoughts I might want to challenge you with. First, I generally like your four points on friendship but I would add a fifth. A true friends will faithfully reveal your faults for the good of your growth in Christ-likeness. I base that on Proverbs 27:5-6. Matthew Henry has some awesome words on those verses. Here they are:
"It is good for us to be reproved, and told of our faults, by our friends. If true love in the heart has but zeal and courage enough to show itself in dealing plainly with our friends, and reproving them for what they say and do amiss, this is really better, not only than secret hatred (as Lev. 19:17), but than secret love, that love to our neighbours which does not show itself in this good fruit, which compliments them in their sins, to the prejudice of their souls. Faithful are the reproofs of a friend, though for the present they are painful as wounds. It is a sign that our friends are faithful indeed if, in love to our souls, they will not suffer sin upon us, nor let us alone in it. The physician’s care is to cure the patient’s disease, not to please his palate. 2. It is dangerous to be caressed and flattered by an enemy, whose kisses are deceitful We can take no pleasure in them because we can put no confidence in them (Joab’s kiss and Judas’s were deceitful), and therefore we have need to stand upon our guard, that we be not deluded by them; they are to be deprecated. Some read it: The Lord deliver us from an enemy’s kisses, from lying lips, and from a deceitful tongue."
Good stuff!
Also, I think we need older and GODLY people in our lives for very practically reasons. They have the wisdom that youth generally lack because God has worked in their lives longer to humble them and mature them in Christ. Isn't that worth seeking out?
Hey Mike thanks for commenting. And good words from Henry too. I love reading him!
As for your comment and question about seeking out older people, here's my reply and I mean no ambiguity:
But it's an ambiguous question. For one, it's not biblical, albeit practical. I'm not against it, I'm just not for it [that is, seeking out older people]. If it is not a biblical mandate, then I can hardly subscribe too it or encourage others too.
Here's why: How old is older? Is someone five years older sufficient? Some opinions may be "yes" and others "no." And next, what about a fifty year old man...is anyone running around making sure he has someone older in his life? Or let's say an eighty year old person...is he supposed to seek out as you say, an older person to help him or has he graduated out of that stage of life of lacking wisdom? And if so, at what age do we graduate out of seeking older people? Paul didn't seek out older people, nor Peter, nor Jude, nor anyone that I know of. If you say seek out someone older, then that leaves too much unanswered and is unhelpful? You must then proceed to tell people how old they must be and how wise and then who will oversee all this. And then there's the issue of why some people need older people in their life and why other's don't like ninety year old people. There's just too much ambiguity for me.
We are safer staying with what the Bible actually does say about wisdom, older people, humility and counsel.
For me biblically and practically, the church [first local, then universal and there is MORE biblical support for seeking this out in your local church than in the church universal] is all that for me. I long to see older people disciple the younger and it is something I preach, but it is a command for the older to get off their bottoms and start making disciples. As for me, I am doing my part to disciple the younger. I am seeking to be obedient to that command, but I cannot run around policing those older than me making sure they are discipling me.
Also, I am curious, what older person have you sought out in your church to have taken that role of giving you wisdom as you have suggested here?
Interested in your thoughts.
Post a Comment